This Book Doesn’t Understand Relationships: Bared to You Chapter 11

Posted on January 17, 2013 by


In the last installment of Bared to You, Eva sees she and Gideon have made headline news from that one kiss they shared in public. Her reaction was confusing, and I couldn’t tell if she was excited, worried, mad, or a complicated mix of emotions. Guess we get to find out now!

Chapter 11

Apparently she’s concerned by this headline, because she thinks if one kiss made the news, they’ll never be able to make a relationship work. I’m not sure about this because that seems like a pretty abrupt conclusion. Maybe explain the reasoning first, book.

Instead, we simply get, “If one kiss was headline news, what chance would Gideon and I have to make a relationship work?” before Eva shuts down her computer.

Eva then explains that she likes to be anonymous and therefore doesn’t have any social media accounts. But you guys, if Gideon and Eva can’t ever be facebook official, how will their love ever mean anything?

I’m confused, though, because Eva says remaining anonymous protects herself from the past, and it also protects her family. I have to agree with Matt, Day needs to stop dicking around and explain what happened to Eva, because this isn’t mysterious, it’s just baffling and frustrating.

Wouldn’t you know it, on the way to meet Cary (her roommate) for lunch, Eva bumps into Gideon. He apparently planted the story himself, d’awww. Eva is flattered, but she tells him there are things he doesn’t know about her and they can’t go public with their relationship, but they’ll talk about it later. WILL WE FINALLY FIND OUT THE STORY? Please, just tell us already!

At lunch, Cary calls Eva out on being wishy-washy.

He shoved his phone into his pocket. “Last week you kept shooting him down for only wanting your vagina. This week he’s publicizing that he’s in a committed, passionate relationship with you, and you’re still unhappy. I’m starting to feel bad for the guy. He can’t win for trying.”

Cary has unwittingly nailed down exactly what the problem is. In a week, Gideon and Eva have gone from nothing to sex in a limo, to a “committed, passionate relationship.” I’m sorry, but not only do I think that it’s ridiculous to classify this as a “committed, passionate relationship” so quickly, but I also think it raises massive red flags. I truly believe you could read a romance novel and still have time pass in a realistic manner. People can fall for each other quickly, for sure. I had like three weeks with Boyfriend before I had to leave the freaking country, and I knew he was insanely special. No, the months we spent apart getting to know each other before I went  back to see him probably wouldn’t make for an interesting read, but I just think these books are planting really idiotic ideas about relationships into people’s heads. You can write hot sex scenes while the characters are developing a relationship outside the bedroom as well. You can have people fall for each other quickly, but I just don’t think this is fun to read when it’s so fucking stupid and distracting that this has only been going on a week! It’s like a relationship you have when you’re twelve and because you held hands you’re now bf/gf or some shit!

The way they keep talking is like Gideon has been in love with Eva for ages and she’s crazy for doubting it. No, Eva is actually being smart in doubting it because it’s too much too fast.

“You’re analyzing this to death, Eva,” Cary said. “You’re thinking the way he feels about you has to be a fluke or a mistake. Someone like him couldn’t really be into you for your big heart and sharp mind, right?”

Footage not found.

Cary suggests they start going to couples therapy, which is totally normal for a couple that has been together one week! If you have to go to couples therapy to make a relationship work after such a brief amount of time, then there is something wrong. Unless that’s secretly the key to making a relationship super awesome and successful? I did read a personal blog post once on The Frisky  about a woman who started going to couples therapy with her boyfriend early on, and it was actually awesome for them, so I don’t know. This still strikes me as really off-putting and peculiar, though.

At least the writing in this book and the sex scenes are a million steps up from the Fifty Shades books. I always feel like I’m reading Ana’s voice as a child. Eva at least feels more like a real, adult person. Christian and Gideon both are pretty much the same, though.

Anyway, after lunch, Eva goes to Gideon’s office because work is optional or something in these romance novels, and starts playing bad secretary, what fun! I like when the book is playful like this, it’s actually enjoyable to read.

I also really like this:

Hopping down from the desk, I sidled closer and smoothed his immaculate tie with both hands. “Can’t we work something out? I do possess a wide variety of useful skills.”

He caught me by the hips. “Which is one of the many reasons you’re the only woman I’ve ever considered for the position.

See? That’s a sweet, nice bit of relationship development. In this moment that they’re playing around and having fun, Gideon is telling her something important without having it be a big, dramatic speech because of a stupid fight. More of that please. Well, actually, no, I need to be able to make fun of things. Go back to the stupid, I guess.

Eva gives Gideon a blow-job, and again, I think it’s well-written, so I’m not just going to quote good porn to you people, that’s not what this is about! Besides, you already know Gideon has a big dick, which Eva keeps reminding us of. That’s the heart of the bj. This line made me laugh, though:

His balls were heavy and big, an audacious display of his powerful virility.

My, your balls display your powerful virility. They’re ever so big and heavy.

Eye acting

There’s no time for more sexy shenanigans after the beej because Gideon’s got a meeting. Eva then reveals (to the reader) that she wanted to prove to herself she could give  selflessly please her partner without feeling taken advantage of. I can dig this character revelation.

Gideon voices this concern aloud (that Eva might feel taken advantage of), and I guess she told him something about that before because she’s pleased he remembered. I have no recollection of that conversation, whoops.

Eva is tired after work, but lucky for her Gideon’s sent a driver to pick her up and take her home! Yay! So Eva has dinner with Cary and his new boy Trey, and then she falls asleep in her bed wearing sexy stuff because Gideon is coming over at some point.

Gideon says she’ll have to come to the next business dinner with him because he missed her. Eva’s like, “Boy, you haven’t known me long enough to miss me.” But he’s known you long enough to be in a committed, passionate relationship? Cary’s words, not mine. I just don’t get it.

So they have move sex, and the chapter ends with Eva thinking that she’s really starting to fall for this guy. Because, you know, he has a magic penis.

But we still don’t find out what happened to her!

Posted in: Bared To You