We Review/Talk All The Way Through Taylor Swift’s “Red”

Posted on February 13, 2013 by

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We couldn’t think of a better way for Bad Books, Good Times to celebrate acknowledge Valentine’s Day than by letting T Swift sing about heartbreak to us. Sing it, girl.

While she spent the day with Instagram.

While she spent the day with Instagram.

State of Grace

Matthew: (very long drumbeat intro plays) We’re slowly being drawn into the world of T Swift.

Ariel: (looking at lyrics) This isn’t that bad.

Matthew: (looking up lyrics) Oh god, this looks long.

So you were never a saint
And I’ve loved in shades of wrong

Ariel: “And I’ve loved in shades of wrong.” Shades of?! Holy crap!

Matthew: Have we even had a chorus yet? I’m not feeling the heartbreak yet.

Ariel: It’s all about fighting for love. I don’t believe this is really Taylor Swift. She’s having too good of a day.

Matthew: All of these songs are kind of long. This is like Taylor Swift’s …And Justice For All.

Red

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Ariel: There’s a lot to unpack in this metaphor.

(Both read lyrics)

Ariel: What does all of this even mean?

Matthew: I have no idea.

Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer

Ariel: These metaphors are hilarious. There is always SUPPOSED to be a right answer in a crossword puzzle, otherwise it’s a mistake. So either fighting with him brings unexpected results or is very rare and highly unlikely. Somehow, I don’t think she meant either of those things.

Matthew: This one at the end of the second verse isn’t even a metaphor. It’s just sad.

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong

Matthew: I actually kind of like “Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you’ve never met”. It’s the “Love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street” part that I don’t think is really speaking to a wider audience.

Treacherous

Ariel: None of these are that bad.

Matthew: I mean this situation does sound treacherous.

Ariel: It’s just boring.

Matthew: Let’s just skip to the next one. (Sees what the next one is). Oh fuck yes, it’s the dubstep one!

I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In

(Long pause as song plays, then bass drop)

Ariel: There we go.

(song continues)

Ariel: [Starts talking about personal life] Sorry, the lyrics are really dumb. [Continues talking about personal life]

[Note from Ariel: If T. Swift doesn’t inspire you to start talking about your personal life, especially romantic issues, I don’t know what else in this life will.]

All Too Well

Ariel: It’s a song about being in love and being in a car. Nobody does anything in her songs but get in a fight or a car and then look into each other’s eyes.

22

Matthew: Oh God, she sounds like Ke$ha

Ariel: She’s talking about hipsters.

We’re happy free confused and lonely at the same time
It’s miserable and magical oh yeah

Matthew: What.

Tonight’s the night when we forget about the deadlines, it’s time uh uh

Ariel: When I’m 22 I hope I can forget about my senior thesis deadline.

We’re happy free confused and lonely at the same time
It’s miserable and magical oh yeah

Matthew: I don’t know what to say about this line. It’s like she’s aware that she crammed in a bunch of stuff into one line and that it sounds bad but doesn’t seem to care?

Ariel: I’m about to turn 22 and this is not what I want my life to feel like. Happy? Free? Confused? Hungry?

Matthew: Oh God, I’m already 22.

Ariel: (unnecessary amounts of laughter)

Matthew: Shut up.

Ariel: How are you feeling about being 22, Matt?

Matthew: Happy and free and confused and lonely and miserable and magical.

Ariel: Write that down.

I Almost Do

Ariel: Boring

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Matthew: That’s a lot of evers. She’s pretty serious.

You go talk to your friends talk
To my friends talk to me

Ariel: There’s a lot of talking. Is everybody involved in this reconciliation that’s never going to happen? They all sound like they’re 12. “Will you tell so and so to tell…”

Matthew: Aren’t they 22?

Ariel: I feel like this song is kind of snarky.

Matthew: Kind of?

Ariel: Like she’s aware of it. Like she plays into how immature it all is with the fake dialogue and the talking to the friends…

Matthew: It’s a weird amount of self-awareness for Taylor Swift.

Stay Stay Stay

Matthew: “Stay Stay Stay” seems like a weird choice to follow up “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”

Ariel: I felt like that for a lot of this album.

The Last Time

Ariel: Featuring Gary Lightbody? Wow, the big names on this.

Matthew: (looks it up) Oh, he’s the Snow Patrol guy. Is that his name?

And you open your eyes into mine,
And everything feels better

Ariel: See? Opening their eyes into each other. It’s in every one of her songs.

Matthew: It even sounds like Snow Patrol. Did she write it with him? (looks it up) He did.

This is the last time I’m asking you this,
Put my name at the top of your list,
This is the last time I’m asking you why,
You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye.

Ariel: Is this song about anything? It’s just a lot of verbs.

Matthew: But it’s the last time for all these verbs.

Ariel: Ah.

Holy Ground

I was reminiscing just the other day,
While having coffee all alone and Lord, it took me away.

Matthew: Wait, the coffee took her away?

Ariel: Go back.

(Starts song over)

Matthew: I guess?

And darling, it was good never looking down.
And right there where we stood was holy ground.

Matthew: I’m not seeing the metaphor. It’s very forced. (Pause) Unless the coffee is what took her away?

Ariel: I don’t understand what’s happening. What was holy ground? Where they met?

Matthew: I guess? Unless… wait. The coffee grounds. It was the coffee!

Sad Beautiful Tragic

Matthew: Well, this one’s called “Sad Beautiful Tragic”.

(Song starts)

Long handwritten note deep in your pocket
Words, how little they mean when you’re a little too late

Matthew: Okay, this one’s speaking to me.

Ariel: A lot of her songs have been speaking to me too. It makes me want to hang my head in shame or jump off a bridge, but I’m really looking forward to eating mac and cheese later, so I guess I’ll keep trucking on.

I stood right by the tracks, your face in a locket
Good girls, hopeful they’ll be and long they will wait

Ariel: Okay, now what’s happening? Now there’s a locket and a bunch of girls?

Matthew: This is taking a very long time to set up no story.

Ariel: How many songs are left?

The Lucky One

Ariel: Diamonds in the sky. I’ve never heard that metaphor before.

Matthew: Skipping.

Everything Has Changed

Matthew: Wait, did she say that there are freckles in her smile?

I just want to know you better know you better know you better now
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now

Ariel: What is she even saying?

Matthew: I’d want to know them better too if they had freckles in their smile. Like how did you end up this way, person?

Starlight

The whole place was dressed to the nines, and we were dancing, dancing
Like we’re made of starlight

Ariel: And bat mitzvahs everywhere played this song all year.

We were seventeen and crazy, running wild, wild
Can’t remember what song it was playing when we walked in
The night we snuck into a yacht club party
Pretending to be a duchess and a prince

Matthew: I don’t think anybody fell for that ruse.

Ooh ooh we could get married
Have ten kids and teach them how to dream

Ariel: That’s gonna be hard to do with ten kids. You’ll have no time to teach them to dream when you’re too busy cleaning up another one’s poop.

Matthew: (just looks perplexed).

Begin Again

Matthew and Ariel: (just not even paying attention anymore).

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Posted in: Bonus Posts