Christian is a Piece of S**t: Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 7

Posted on February 18, 2013 by




I just want to say thank you to everyone who left comments about the tough stuff I’ve been going through. You guys are seriously amazing. So as my gift to you, I bring you Fifty Shades Freed chapter seven. Man, that’s sad.

Chapter 7

So when we last left our “heroes,” they were looking at a security tape and tryna figure out who started that pesky fire at Christian’s office (or wherever the fire was, it’s been awhile). Ana’s like, “OMG IT IS JACK HYDE!”

The first line of this chapter is Christian saying, “You think?” And at first I burst out laughing because I thought the book was having this really self-aware moment, but actually Christian is genuinely asking that and shocked.

Ana explains why she’s sure it’s Jack, and Christian actually gets pissy because she studied the details of his physical appearance. Holy God this guy is terrible.

Now, EL James has literally nothing else to write about for the time being given the characters have solved the only “mystery” going on in this book. So to fill time she has Ana decide to go make food for Christian and have a really awkward conversation with Mrs. Jones (the housekeeper) who is also in the kitchen.

“Um—so what does Christian like in a, um . . . sub?” I frown, struck by what I’ve just said. Does Mrs. Jones understand the inference?

“Mrs. Grey, you could put just about anything in a sandwich, and as long as it’s on French bread, he’ll eat it.” We grin at each other.

Is that a weird metaphorical statement about submissives? I really hope it is. Otherwise, why? Why is this happening?

Then Ana worries about figuring out who will do the cooking when. She wants to do the cooking for Christian on the weekends, damn it! Lady, problems, amiright?

Well, since there wasn’t any real drama going on, and we all already know Ana is pregnant, this happens:

“Barefoot and in the kitchen,” he murmurs.

“Shouldn’t that be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?” I smirk.

He stills, his whole body tensing against me. “Not yet,” he declares, apprehension clear in his voice.

“No! Not yet!”

He relaxes. “On that we can agree, Mrs. Grey.”

“You do want kids though, don’t you?”

“Sure, yes. Eventually. But I’m not ready to share you yet.” He kisses my
neck again.

Oh . . . share?

So when Ana realizes she’s pregnant, she’s going to be scared to tell Christian. But then when he figures it out, he’ll be like, “It’s okay, now I have more people to control and emotionally abuse! Yay!” And then everything will be resolved again in like five minutes. So I guess we’re good, we know the rest of the book?


I also hate the fact that Christian is going to get whiny and jealous over sharing Ana with their child. He’s the worst!

Then, to fill even more time and pages, Christian and Ana talk about plans for their new house. Ana isn’t sure she wants to change a lot about the house! Oh no! Will Christian be mad?

Whew, he’s not mad, y’all! He wants Ana to be happy in the house. God, I was so worried they might fight and get divorced.

The only even vaguely interesting thing is they talk about whether or not they want to have a playroom in the house. Or they could just keep their toys in the closet or drawers like everyone else…so that’s kind of a stupid issue.

In the next scene, Ana and Christian are trying to figure out what they want to do. Without any impending doom and no arguments, their relationship is so boring the book doesn’t even know what to do with them. They can’t even agree to watch television. So of course they revert back to the physical, and Ana asks if they can make out. Christian’s never just made out with someone before! Apparently Ana has? I thought in the first book she said she’d never really even done that.

Christian gets jealous of course. Urg. So he starts doing sexy things to Ana and asking if those guys did them. Boy, they really have nothing else going for them in this relationship other then sex and crazy people trying to break them up.

Apparently, the whole time they had sex The X-Files was on in the background. That’s a really weird detail to have in the book and also a really unsexy show to have on in the background. That show scared me so much when I tried to watch it a few years ago. I’m a wimp.

Ana goes back to work, and she gets an e-mail from Christian asking about why she hasn’t changed her name at work (he figured it out because he tried to e-mail her using his last name to find her or something.) So more fighting later!

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Christian actually shows up at the office and is being a huge asshole to Ana:

“Mr. Grey, how nice to see you.” I smile, far too sweetly.

“Ms. Steele, may I sit down?”

“It’s your company.” I wave at the chair Hannah vacated.

Yeah, we get it, buddy. You’re mad she didn’t take your last name at work. Chill out.

Ana actually kind of sticks up for herself, though.

“Now, Ms. Steele, where were we?”

“You were rudely interrupting my work day to fight with me about my name.”

Damn straight.

“I like to make the odd impromptu visit. It keeps management on their toes, wives in their place. You know.” He shrugs, his mouth set in an arrogant line.

Wives in their place! “I had no idea you could spare the time,” I snap.

His eyes frost. “Why don’t you want to change your name here?” he asks, his voice deathly quiet.

Well this is all certainly going in my thesis in the part where I discuss why this is an abusive, awful relationship.

Basically, Ana explains that she wants to do the career thing on her own, but Christian wants her world to begin and end with him (his words). Then he tells her he’s planning on changing the company name to Grey Publishing, but if she doesn’t want to take his name, should he cal it Steele Publishing. Because he’s giving the company to her as his wedding present. This is disgusting.

Christian gets Ana to give him his way, and she agrees to change her name. But, understandably, she feels really taken aback by everything, so she has to figure out a way to express herself!

I stare blankly at my computer screen, still in shock. How can I make him understand? E-mail!

I love that the revelation is to send an e-mail. Because yes, you should always only express what you’re feeling over an e-mail that never in a million years could be misunderstood.

Ana later tells Christian she’s angry with him because of the way he handled their disagreement and basically just got his way without listening to her. Truth. She tells him she’s not his property or an asset. I wish I believed that. He says this in response:

“Don’t be mad. You’re so precious to me. Like a priceless asset, like a child,” he whispers, a somber reverent expression on his face. His words distract me. Like a child. Precious like a child . . . a child would be precious to him!


Christian says if Ana’s still mad, she can take it out on him in bed later. Can’t wait for that scene.

Anyway, that’s basically it. The chapter ends with the woman (Gia) who is helping them with plans for the house showing up to talk to them. What a long chapter!