Ana’s Inner Goddess Continues to Disgust: Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 12

Posted on April 1, 2013 by


You guys!! I finally got to meet Matt’s parents this weekend, and they are the sweetest! I wonder what happened to Matt…JOKES! Matt is also the sweetest so it all makes sense. Funny story, though, it was a very tiny restaurant and yet I could not for the life of me figure out who Matt was pointing to. He was like, “No, seriously, it’s the people that look like me over there.” But someone was blocking my line of vision so I only saw the back of his sister’s head, and thought Matt was playing a trick on me because aside from his family there was an Asian family and a Middle Eastern family who all looked nothing like Matt! What a wacky misunderstanding!

Chapter 12

While I was doing work on my thesis, I had to read ahead. It’s so painful to re-read these chapters. I always go into this 99% certain it’s going to be boring and painful, but now going into it knowing 100% just makes it that much harder. That one percent makes a huge difference.

So anyway, last time we found out there’s some sort of connection between Jack Hyde and Christian and it has something to do with Detroit where Christian was born. One reader thinks they might be the same person, and I think that would make this way more interesting.

Ana, as usual, starts to ask questions, but the questions go nowhere.

“What does it say in his file?”

Christian blinks. Reaching down he strokes my cheek. “You really want to know?”

“Is it that bad?”

He shrugs. “I’ve known worse,” he whispers.

No! Is he referring to himself?

So then it becomes all about Ana whining about Christian’s past, and we don’t actually get to learn what his deal is! This is annoying. The one time I want something resolved in two seconds and it’s not!


Somehow it just turns into another dumb conversation where they declare their love and Ana’s like, “OMG I’ll love you no matter what you do to me! Even if you beat the shit out of me!” I may have added on that last bit, but that’s essentially what she says.

Then Christian starts whining about how Ana used their safe word last chapter when he was basically sexually abusing her by treating her like a submissive without her consent. It sucked. Ana explains she wasn’t comfortable with what was happening, and then Christian says he’s actually glad she used the safe word because he doesn’t want to hurt her. You know, except when he wants to beat the shit out of her.

They fall asleep, and Ana wakes up to Christian having a nightmare. So she wakes him up and they instantly start having sex. What is it with this series and Bared to YouWhy does everyone immediately have to fuck after having a nightmare?!

After a nightmare I am usually just so scared I want to hide under a blanket, not fuck. I would gladly be cuddled, sure, but immediately being like, “PUT IT IN ME NOW TO FIGHT THE NIGHTMARES!” Just would not occur.

Uh, oh, Ana’s left hanging again! What do you think her inner goddess feels like doing because she hasn’t gotten to have an orgasm yet?

Yes, her inner goddess is “preparing to disembowel herself.” Before that can happen, though, Christian lives up to his sex god status and makes Ana come. We can all rest easy now, folks.

Later that night, Ana finds Christian playing piano in the moonlight again. I have no idea why James’ feels the need to include this same scene like three times per book. Ug. Anyway, he admits his nightmare was about Ana being dead. I bet Christian would try to have sex with zombie Ana, the sick fuck.

So Ana thinks more about loving Christian, and then the next day they go to Aspen. Christian surprises Ana with all their friends! Yay friends!

Anyway, the friends all ask questions about Hyde, and we find out he had a rough childhood but got into Princeton, so he’s a smart cookie. He also might have an accomplice! Oh man, the anticipation is killing me. They all chat about nothing of great importance, but Ana does notice some tension between Kate and Elliot. Oh, god, I hope those two crazy kids are okay!

The chapter ends with the flight attendant coming in to offer them coffee. WHO WILL ACCEPT HER OFFER?!??!??! Find out next time. Fuck, I just gotta read on to find out.