Apparently Wanderer is a Secret Badass, and This is Somehow Still Super Boring: The Host Chapters 51 & 52

Posted on September 26, 2013 by

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It’s really hard to be like, “Previously, in The Host…” When all I wanna talk about is how much I hated the Dexter finale.

Okay, but actually, I guess this is important. Wanderer is a fucking idiot and decides that now is the time to sacrifice herself in order to save the horrible Seeker. If I tried to explain this so it made any semblance of sense, I’d have to re-write the whole post that Matt already did.

Chapter 51: Prepared 

Wanderer enlists Jared on her missions to get the cyrotanks. Apparently it’s the easiest thing ever.

“Empty cryotanks are stored outside Healing facilities until they’re needed. With more souls coming in than leaving, there will be a surplus. No one will guard them; no one will notice if some go missing.”

Matthew says: God, the souls are just the most boring antagonists ever.

As Wanderer and Jared head off into the desert, Wanderer comes to the conclusion that her motivation for doing this is actually to help Melanie, Jared and Jamie. Sure, she might be sentencing the rest of her kind to certain death, but also she might not be. Also, the humans are gonna keep slicing them out of brains anyway, so this is a great plan! Motivation?

Wanderer and Jared also talk about why the cave dwellers are being so nice and accommodating to the Seeker who is a total bitch and a half. Apparently, it’s because they don’t want to be monsters again. It’s for Wanderer’s sake. Wanderer is less butt hurt over this.

As they’re getting the cyrotanks, Wanderer keeps bemoaning how after this she’ll be gone. The thing is, this all came on so abruptly. This is all because of the Seeker? I would have found this way more believable if it had just happened because of a conversation she had in her head with Melanie about finally needing to give the poor girl her body back. Or if Melanie started disappearing again and Wanderer was like, “Maybe I need to peace out…” But the actual motivation here is so fucking forced and stupid.

Matthew says: These are my thoughts exactly, and I’m pretty sure Meyer knows this is a weak point, because the bulk of the last few chapters have been Wanderer explaining again and again why she believes she should save the Seeker, and it reads like Meyer’s just bullshitting until she happens to stumble upon an answer. It doesn’t work.

[I]f I was trying to save only the Seeker, this would be the moment when I would change my mind and turn around. She wasn’t worth selling out the others. Even she would agree with that.
Or would she? I suddenly wondered. The Seeker didn’t seem to be… what was the word Jared had used? Altruistic. As altruistic as the rest of us. Maybe she would count her own life dearer than the lives of many.
But it was too late to change my mind.

Yeah, it’s too late because you used up all your time writing pages of just thinking about shit. I’m not even mad at Meyer about this anymore – who the fuck is her editor?

Jared figures out what Wanderer is planning, and he’s like, “So you’re going to remove the Seeker and save her?” And Wanderer is like, “Yup, but I did it once before during this totally badass emergency situation. Want me to talk about it in long, confusing detail for a bunch of pages? Great.”

Essentially on some ice planet, as a bear, Wanderer (or, Lives in the Stars as she was called then) must save Harness Light from near death. She removes him from his host which was sliced in two by a Claw Beast, then she attacks the Claw Beast and inserts Harness Light into him…somehow.

confused

Because of her epic story, the other souls on that planet started calling her Rides the Beast. She doesn’t like that one and makes them go back to Lives in the Stars because that’s, like, so much better.

Jared’s just like fucking amazed by this story.

woah

But then he’s like,

“Yes, let’s finish this, Wanderer, Lives in the Stars , Rides the Beast. Stealing a few unguarded crates won’t present much of a challenge for you, will it?”

I thought violence no matter what was always shitty to the souls? No, but actually. I don’t get them, ever. Wanderer was never badass about anything before because blah blah the souls are sooo peaceful. I don’t know, you guys, I just don’t know. I guess she sort of went into survival mode when Kyle attacked her, but not really.

Matthew says: After Wanderer’s story about how she cut through the hide of an animal “closer to the mass of a blue whale” until she reached the brain or central nervous system while it was conscious and trying to get her off its back and kill her, I officially give up at trying to understand any of Meyer’s pseudo-science.

Chapter 52: Separated 

Does the title of this chapter refer to the separation of Mel and Wanderer? I sure hope so!

Jared and Wanderer get back to the cave and Wanderer tries to talk to Melanie in her head, but Melanie is all sad and mopey. For some reason.

She tried to keep me out, to put the wall in place, but it was too weak from disuse. I saw her plan.
I tried to keep my mental tone even. Have you lost your mind?
In a manner of speaking, she teased halfheartedly.
You think that if you can make yourself disappear, that will stop me?
What else can I do to stop you? If you’ve got a better idea, please share.
I don’t get it, Melanie. Don’t you want them back? Don’t you want to be with Jared again? With Jamie?
She writhed, fighting the obviousness of the answer. Yes, but… I can’t… She took a moment to steady herself. I find myself unable to be the death of you, Wanda. I can’t stand it.
I saw the depth of her pain, and tears formed in my eyes.
Love you too, Mel. But there’s not room for the both of us here. In this body, in this cave, in their lives… I disagree.

Why is everyone in this book so fucking stupid? I’m surprised Melanie isn’t trying to convince Wanderer to remove a different soul, send it off planet and take over their body if the host has actually disappeared already.

Matthew says: Honestly, I’ve been wondering why nobody has suggested this yet, because it kind of solves everybody’s problem without a single negative repercussion. I guess it’s because there’s still 1/5 of the book left.

We thought of other things then, things that didn’t hurt. Like where we would send the Seeker. Mel was all for the Mists Planet after my story tonight, but I thought the Planet of the Flowers would be more fitting. There wasn’t a mellower planet in the universe. The Seeker needed a nice long lifetime eating sunshine.

Is that their version of smoking weed? I guess that would mellow the Seeker out already. I wonder how the souls feel about smoking weed. Why doesn’t Meyer ever tell us anything interesting!

Matthew says: Now I can’t shake the idea that the Flower Planet is the planet for soul stoners and burnouts. Thanks, Ariel.

Anyway, they start doing the procedure on the Seeker to remove her from the body. It’s a shame we never really find out why she’s such an anomaly of souls (kind of like Wanderer. Omg.) Also, again, Meyer dodges the more technical questions.

“How does it work? What’s the power source?”
I sighed . “I knew the answers when I was a Spider. I don’t understand it now. Doc, you can go ahead. I’m ready.”

I am actually really grateful we didn’t have to read some cockamamey explanation, but why the fuck even include this? Why draw attention to more idiotic things about an already very flawed universe?

Matthew says: I don’t even care anymore. I gave up on science last chapter.

Wanderer then realizes if she wants Doc to actually fully commit to her arrangement that he must safely send each soul they remove off the planet, she’s going to have to get more people on her side. Which means she has to talk to Ian and say goodbye to him. WAHHHHH. Just kidding, I don’t like Ian still. Even though he was laughing at the souls’ stupid television.

The chapter ends with the Seeker’s human host regaining consciousness. :0! Maybe she will tell us what the fuck was up with that Seeker bitch.

ALSO WE ARE ALMOST FUCKING DONE THIS BOOK!!!!

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Posted in: The Host