Heath Is In Trouble, As Is Zoey+Erik Night: Betrayed Chapter 27

Posted on June 20, 2014 by

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Guys, we only have three weeks left of House of Night #2: Betrayed! How are people feeling about House of Night so far? I mean, obviously, everybody hates it, but do you hate it like Zoey hated Heath in the first book, or do you hate/like it like Zoey hate/liked Heath in the second book all of a sudden?

Chapter 27

Speaking of Zoey’s feelings for Heath, Erik Night (purportedly Zoey’s boyfriend, although he went from almost-boyfriend to boyfriend without a single event that would change that condition) has figured out that Zoey isn’t being totally honest with him about Heath (whom Zoey purportedly still likes, although she went from having no feelings for him to having lingering feelings for him without a single event that would change that condition). They take a walk to the stables where Zoey can calm her mind, and Erik finally does what every single Bad Books, Good Times reader has wanted to do since the first House of Night post: call Zoey out on her bullshit.

“You still care about him, don’t you? I mean, as more than just an ex-boyfriend.”
“Yes.” Erik deserved the truth, and I was totally sick of lies.

[Ariel says: I don’t understand how anyone could be invested in Erik/Zoey even if you’re a genuine fan of the series because he’s only been in about two scenes in this book, and he wasn’t featured prominently in either of those.] 

Also, since every Bad Books, Good Times reader is also expecting me to say this: YOUNG ADULT FICTION, MOTHERFUCKER.

Costanza Popcorn

IT’S MOTHERFUCKIN’ NONPLUSSED PARTY TIME!

Zoey tells Erik that not only that, but she’s also Imprinted Heath. Erik points out that Zoey barely tasted Heath’s blood that one time when he and whatserface (Zoey’s ex-BFFFFFF K-babble or something – who the fuck even remembers?) tried to break her out of the House, forcing Zoey to go into more detail:

“I saw him again […] If I’d known he was going to be there I wouldn’t have gone. I promise you that, Erik.”
“But you did see him.”
I nodded.
“And you fed from him?”

Zoey explains that she didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened. Even though this has always been a rather watertight excuse throughout the history of man, Erik Night ain’t about that life.

“there’s this thing between Heath and me” […]
“Okay, well, there’s a thing between you and me, too.”

Oh, Erik. You’d be so wonderful if you weren’t inexplicably in love with Zoey.

Erik Night tells Zoey that she should be with him and not Heath, because Heath will age and die long before Zoey’s Vampyre body will, and plus vampyre-human relationships are super frowned upon, and then kisses her, in his last desperate move to secure her affections. No, seriously, why does Erik Night like Zoey? Regardless of how you feel about Zoey, these two characters have zero chemistry. All we’ve got is that Zoey finds him attractive (as she does the rest of the world), but I don’t think the Casts have ever bothered establishing a single detail on why Erik likes her. Sure, we can infer that Zoey is desirable because of her rare talents, but that’s still not a detail about what Erik sees in Zoey – that’s more of Zoey explaining why Zoey is desirable.

This is basically all the Casts could come up

This is all the Casts could come up to explain why anyone has the hots for their main character.

Erik continues to be a significantly better person than Zoey by explaining that if she really did Imprint with Heath, then she should be able to use the connection to find him.

“[If] your Imprint is strong enough, you may be able to get an idea of where he is.”
“Thank you, Erik.”
He smiled, but he didn’t look happy.

Maybe in the next book Erik will find a nice girl, like literally anybody else. [Ariel says: Maybe he’ll go crawling back to Aphrodite, but girl deserves better.] [Matthew adds: Maybe. We don’t know anything about Erik.]  Zoey continues to prove my point:

How did those ho-ish girls go out with a dozen or so guys at the same time? Two was exhausting. […] Actually, I’d been kinda sorta seeing three guys

Oh my god, there is so much that is wrong with this.

  1. Zoey, you seem to have a thoroughly confused definition of what “go out” means. There’s a difference between casually dating, just hooking up, and (what Zoey is doing) straight-up being dishonest with people. Sure, there’s a lot of grey area and these things look a little different to everybody, but that just makes it extra befuddling that Zoey still finds a way to be wrong.
  2. Also, slut shaming.
  3. Also also, pot calling the kettle black.
  4. “Sorta seeing three guys”? Since when does flirting with someone and nothing else count as “seeing” someone? [Ariel says: But Matt, haikus.] [Matthew adds: Four and a half: Haikus.]
  5. Once again I’d like to make clear that a having a character make these mistakes doesn’t make a book “bad” by itself, but it certainly does when the book does so aimlessly and meaninglessly.
  6. Zoey sucks. This has always been a problem, but we can’t not count it now.

Erik leaves, and Zoey declares that she’s going to clean up her act, “figure out” what to do about Erik and Heath, and then stop flirting with Loren:

From now on I’d avoid Loren, and if I couldn’t avoid him I’d treat him like any other teacher, which meant no flirting.

Zoey tries to reach out to Heath telepathically through the Imprint like she did accidentally that one time before, by thinking about how she feels about him:

I remembered how sweet he was, and how he could make me feel beautiful

When did any of this ever happen? [Ariel says: Yeah, footage seriously not found.] She spent literally the entire first book shitting all over Heath. Is the average House of Night reader so stupid that they don’t remember this? How the fuck do they keep track of these book’s billions of near-abandoned subplots?

Zoey eventually gets through to Heath by thinking about sexytimes, because of course. She starts talking with him telepathically, which is apparently the least interesting thing to ever happen to Heath:

“I can hear you.”
“Inside your head. […] It’s because we’ve Imprinted and now we’re linked.”
Unexpectedly, Heath grinned. “That’s cool, Zo.”

What’s sad is that this character is way more developed than Erik Night’s.

Heath is tied up underground somewhere, and he’s, surprisingly, able to deduce that he’s in a tunnel under Tulsa built for running booze during prohibition. He tells Zoey about the creatures that have kidnapped him, who are like vampyres, but something’s wrong about them. He tells Zoey the names he’s caught which include Elliot, Venus (surprise?), and STEVIE RAE, Y’ALL. Zoey decides she can’t go to the police because of Stevie Rae [Ariel says: Because the police will arrest Stevie Rae…in zombie ghost form? That would make a really weird episode of Orange is the New Black.], but Heath refuses to tell Zoey where he is until she promises she’ll go to the police for help. Zoey offers the counterargument that she’s Zoey.

“I saved you that night [at the museum], Heath. Not the cops. Not an adult vamp. I saved you, and I can do it again.”

Heath pauses before telling Zoey where he is, telling her she should hurry, because I guess the climax of all of these books is going to be Heath needing to be rescued.

Sorry, Zoey, but your useless ex-boyfriend is in another climax.

Sorry, Zoey, but your ex-boyfriend is in another climax.

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