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Funniest Tommy Wiseau Quotes From His Latest Interview

Posted on January 14, 2015 by

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Tommy Wiseau recently sat down with the A.V. Club for an interview about his new show The Neighbors, which Matt and I will undoubtably set aside many a precious moment in our lives to watch. [Matthew says: Although he only has the pilot so far, with no plans to film additional epodes actually on the horizon. Strangely.] For those of you who don’t remember, Wiseau starred in/wrote/directed The Room, which is widely accepted as one of the most hilariously bad movies of all time. Matt also writes some pretty amazing recaps of each scene in the room, which I highly recommend checking out. [Matthew says: And which, someday, I will even continue writing!]

The interview is fairly long, so we thought we’d be helpful and bring you some of our favourite quotes that came out of Wiseau’s endlessly entertaining brain.

1. When asked about a gay character in the show, Wiseau’s response gets a little off-track:

TW: Yeah, there’s Don. Actually he’s bisexual. And you see, that’s the society way of right now. Let’s say we talk about 10 years ago, people would not accept it very openly. Because you talk about Chinese, you know, rednecks, and all this crap.

2. Tommy gets diversity.

TW: I want to present that different relationship, like you have a black, you have a Chinese, you have a pregnant, you have this, you have that, et cetera.

3. Tommy gets commentary on race and gender.

AVC: Were you thinking about racial diversity when you were casting?

TW: Yeah, absolutely. We were very discriminatory about who can actually present a certain way, America, a person who maybe didn’t have so much acting experience, but you can feel the commitment. You can feel the sincerity. And that’s what I like with actors, you know? You may have actors who make 20 million dollars, but it doesn’t mean that they can deliver what I want them to, you know what I’m saying?

AVC: What part of America is represented by the women who are in bikinis the whole time?

TW: Okay, I will tell you that. Very simple. What about Venice Beach, Los Angeles? We have some neighbors who actually go to certain extremes. I used to live in New Orleans, actually, I know a dozen people like that. Certain people like that who are very open, they’re yelling, and they’re talking, you know?

4. Tommy Wiseau, Actor.

AVC: What made you decide to play two characters?

TW: Challenge.

5. Just read this one.

AVC: Why is now a good time for you to bring The Neighbors out?

TW: Why is the sky is blue?

"I don't know what that means gif"

6. Tommy muses on the human condition, which is nigh unrecognizable from any other human’s.

AVC: Are there parts of The Neighbors that are autobiographical?

TW: It’s come from the life. I mean, you ever have a neighbor like Cici? A crazy neighbor?

AVC: Not really.

TW: I did. I live in a place and have crazy neighbors. Sometimes I do research, too, I just observe people, how they react. So we have a lot of stuff where the people will relate to it. So, you mentioned bikini girl you know? Again, girls like to express themselves.

"I'm a lady you see gif"

7. On the infamous flower shop scene:

TW: So I actually knew the owner indirectly. What [Greg] put was that we just go there and say, “Hey, I’ll give you 20 dollars to do this scene.” Are you insane? Nobody will allow this kind of stuff, including myself. Even doggy was paid. We paid a hundred bucks to doggy, for your information. Because she said, “No, you cannot use my doggy unless you pay.” Plus she was Chinese and you know how they are! [Laughs.] This is from The Neighbors now, just teasing.

8. Tommy gets deep:

TW: You talk about Cici [a character from The Neighbors] looking for chicken, “What is chicken? What is symbol?” And I say, you know, it’s a lot of stuff.

Anything we missed? What were your favorites? Because it’s pretty impossible to read a Tommy Wiseau… thing… and not have to talk about the best, weird parts.

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Posted in: Bonus Posts
8 Responses “Funniest Tommy Wiseau Quotes From His Latest Interview” →

  1. Madeline

    January 14, 2015

    I clicked on that interview link, and I feel it’s my civic duty to leave the trailer here, so:

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    • Damn it, meant to include this! Thank you for posting it 😀 I’ve watched it so many times now, and it makes me laugh every time.

      A friend from work invited me to go with her and some friends to see Tommy Wiseau host a screening of The Room and The Neighbors, so I’ll be getting to see the whole thing in a couple weeks! Will report back about it of course.

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    • That is the WORST. Everything about it is so, so terrible.

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    • You know what this trailer reminds me of? When you’re playing the Sims, and your characters are watching TV. A vague replication of something in real life, only louder, weirder, and in an unintelligible language.

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  2. I liked when he called the interviewer a prick and stormed out because…because…

    I’m not really clear why. Most of the things he says are nonsense anyway.

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  3. I really don’t know what else I expected from this. Man, people are very strange these days …

    And, god, I would just love to see Tommy Wiseau in a serious political or philosophical debate. Hell, why not? I support Tommy Wiseau 2016! If only for the entertainment value (Though I imagine we would be getting into another big birth certificate debacle … seriously, where the hell is he from?)

    I’m also happy to report that I, after all this time, successfully introduced my friends to the movie. One of them had already become mildly obsessed with it a few months back, to the point where I even gave her The Disaster Artist for her birthday, but I got her and couple of my other friends (who were quite unfamiliar with it and kept asking me what the plot was. Ha. Plot! So naive!) to watch it on New Year’s with me. I spent the entire time getting drunk on Prosecco while carefully observing their reactions. It was so beautiful and surreal, especially because they had no idea what they were even in for exactly. And, of course, they were a particular fan of “Hai, doggy.”

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    • I can’t think of a political debate I’d rather see! The words that come out of his mouth amaze me.

      I work in an office that allows dogs, and because I found out one of my friend’s in the office (who brings her dog in) is a fan of The Room, all day yesterday I kept saying “Oh Hai, doggy” to her dog. It was nice being able to do that around someone who understood.

      Ahh I still need to read The Disaster Artist.

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