The Lazy Reader’s Guide: November 23 – November 28, 2015

Posted on November 28, 2015 by



Life and Death

Edythe and Beau have a date where they profess their love, and Edythe vampiresplains everything. Then, Beau meets Edythe’s family because despite how long and boring this book is, things also move at an inexplicably rapid pace.

Here’s what else you missed:

  • We find out backstory about Edythe’s family members.
  • Edythe gives Beau a piggyback ride as she races through the forest. This is pretty crazy for Beau, who is a man.
  • They have a platonic sleepover. Edythe doesn’t sleep, but she watches Beau sleep, which she’s apparently been sneaking into his house for ages to do anyway. Creeptastic!
  • Most of Edythe’s family think Beau is the bees knees even though “[He] really didn’t do anything very exciting.” Beau’s words.
  • After Carine tells her life story, everyone decides to go play baseball. This means I have to write about the fucking baseball chapter.

cartman crying

House of Night #4: Untamed

Zoey finds out that Aphrodite has had visions of two different ways she can die. As everyone pointed out in this comments, this is confusing. Aphrodite and Stevie Rae bicker constantly as they discuss the plot and whether they should help the other red fledgelings.

  • One way Zoey might die is drowning somewhere in Europe. Or at least they think it’s Europe for reasons I don’t really understand.
  • Another way she might die is to have Neferet slit her throat.
  • Zoey needs her friends! For some reason, having them in her life will save her.
  • The red fledgelings are probably part of Neferet’s evil plan, so they should probably help them.
  • At the end of the chapter, Aphrodite and Zoey run into her awful friends, which means I have to write about this fucking shit. WHY AM I GETTING STUCK WITH ALL THIS CRAP THIS WEEK?

tobias arrested development sobs in the shower

Bonus Posts

Very unnecessary tips for meeting your partner’s family over the holidays.


Is anyone else listening to and loving Enya’s new album? I’m not ashamed. I love her so much.