Beau’s A Vampire Now, I Guess: Life and Death Chapter 23

Posted on December 17, 2015 by


Life and Death Chapter 23: The Choice

In Twilight the chapter title is “The Angel.” Contractually obligated joke: BEAU GETS TO HAVE A CHOICE BECAUSE HE HAS A PENIS, I GUESS.

Bella drifts in and out of consciousness, and an “angel” (clearly Edward) keeps calling to her and pleading for her to wake up. Beau, on the other hand, seems pretty aware of everything that’s going on:

Another scream on top of mine —a  shriek like a chainsaw cutting through rebar.

The hunter lunged, but her teeth snapped closed an inch from my face as something yanked her back, flung her out of my sight.

The fire pooled in the crease of my elbow, and I screamed.

I wasn’t alone, there were others screaming—the metallic snarl was joined by a high keening that bounced off the walls and then cut off suddenly. A thrumming growl was grinding underneath the other sounds. More metal tearing, shredding…

“No!” someone howled in an agony to match mine. “No, no, no, no!”

Beau does say that Edythe sounds like an angel, and she calls for Carine to come help, so there’s that similarity. I am really unsure why Bella/Beau’s thoughts are so different here, though. Here’s Bella’s scene:

As I drifted, I dreamed.

Where I floated, under the dark water, I heard the happiest sound my mind could conjure up — as beautiful, as uplifting, as it was ghastly. It was another snarl; a deeper, wilder roar that rang with fury.

I was brought back, almost to the surface, by a sharp pain slashing my
upraised hand, but I couldn’t find my way back far enough to open my eyes.

And then I knew I was dead.

Because, through the heavy water, I heard the sound of an angel calling my name, calling me to the only heaven I wanted.

“Oh no, Bella, no!” the angel’s voice cried in horror.

Meyer had said that Bella was more flowery than Beau…but refuses to blame that on gender?

As everyone tries to help Beau/Bella, the differences in Edward/Edythe’s reactions are questionable as well. Essentially: Edward howls with rage, while Edythe shrieks and cradles Beau’s head tenderly.

Carlisle is the one to realize that Bella’s hand has been bitten, while Edythe is the one who figures it out for Beau.

Things diverge wildly from this point on. Edward is able to suck the venom from Bella’s hand with seemingly no difficulty whatsoever. Clearly this is because she must survive to bear their vampire/human baby someday.

However, because Beau can not give birth, Archie has a vision that either Beau will die or survive as a vampire…so…Edythe can’t suck the venom from his hand just ’cause.

“Beau? I won’t make this decision for you. I won’t take this away from you. And I’ll understand, I promise, Beau. If you don’t want to live like this, I won’t fight you. I’ll respect what you want. I know it’s a horrible choice. I would give you any other option if I could. I would die if I could give your life back to you.” Her voice broke. “But I can’t make that trade. I can’t do anything—except stop the pain. If that’s what you want. You don’t have to be this. I can let you go—if that’s what you need.” It sounded like she was sobbing again. “Tell me what you want, Beau. Anything.”


“You,” I spit through my teeth. “Just you.”

Beau’s decision to become a vampire is as easy as that time Edward was able to suck the venom out of Bella’s hand to save her life.

Look, I know Meyer didn’t feel like rewriting the other books, and that’s totally fine, we don’t want that either. But at least try to do better than, “IT’S JUST DIFFERENT, OKAY?” Nothing happened that was different enough to explain why Beau could not be saved aside from the fact that his thoughts are different than Bella’s in this scene.

For a chapter that should have been such a huge deal, not much really happened even. He’s hurt! I had a vision that you can’t suck the poison out of his hand unless you were gender-swapped and named Edward! Beau, you wanna be a vampire?!?!? YUP. KDONE.

i'm done, the comeback gif