The Lazy Reader’s Guide: Feb 1 – Feb 5, 2016

Posted on February 6, 2016 by


I spent a lot of time on Amazon looking through DS games – because I still don’t have a 3DS – the other day, and now when I visit BBGT’s homepage I keep getting ads for those games. It’s working on me. I can slowly feel myself becoming more and more prone to just adding a few of these games to my cart. For now I’m distracting myself with this week’s recap of our beloved books!

Left Behind

I feel like I could essentially just copy/paste Matt’s summary from last week, and no one would be the wiser. Things progressed in the plot a little as Rayford’s daughter Chloe shows up, and Buck has to fake his death.

  • Chloe and Rayford argue a bit over whether or not the Rapture is happening, which is probably somewhat realistic but not that interesting for us to read given we are 100% sure the Rapture is happening.
  • Ray convinces Chloe to go with him to the super intense church his wife belonged to. They want answers! And the pastor left a video behind for everyone who was left behind to watch.
  • Buck finds out his contact and good friend in London has died. Though his death has been ruled a suicide, he was clearly killed for Reasons.
  • Buck meets with someone he knows in the Scotland Yard, and this guy is immediately assassinated.
  • Luckily Buck has a spare passport for some reason, so he uses his real passport to fake his death and throw the killers off his scent.

House of Night

Zoey and Aphrodite confirm that Aphrodite wrote the poem from her vision in Zoey’s grandmother’s handwriting. They contact Grandma, and shit starts to get real. Grandma explains what the poem means/what the new plot of the book is.

  • Sexy angels used to have sex with humans. Aphrodite agrees that this checks out because people will bone anyone that is sexy.
  • According to Matthew, Tsi Sgili are “evil witches, outcasts from their former tribes, gain their powers from fear, pain, and death, and are psychic.” OBVS THIS IS NEFERET.
  • Kalona loves women so much it makes him hate them. He is the sexiest (fallen) angel of all. For some reason he has gross children that are part raven (THE RAVEN MOCKERS).
  • Zoey immediately realizes that the Raven Mockers are the ravens that have been mocking her at night.
  • A bunch of priestesses band together to trick Kalona into chasing a woman underground. If Kalona was a Pokemon, his weakness would be earth. So the priestesses made this woman from the earth, and as soon as Kalona starting having sex with her underground…she trapped him there by the dick.
  • It’s heavily implied that Zoey is gonna have to save the day at some point.