The Lazy Reader’s Guide: March 14-18

Posted on March 19, 2016 by

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This week we finished the fourth House of Night book, Untamed. And we’re two weeks away from the conclusion of Left Behind. I also watched the last Hunger Games movie last weekend, but that’s not relevant.

Left Behind

World-famous journalist Buck finally interviews Rayford about his take on the disappearances for some reason. Buck then stalks Chloe onto a plane and they talk about Jesus.

  • Rayford fills Buck in on his theory about the disappearances, which is “IT WAS THE FUCKING RAPTURE. WHY DOES NO ONE GET THIS YET.” Not in those words.
  • Buck is totally sold. Chloe is also totally sold. Rayford doesn’t think either of them are sold but finds out later they were. Just saved you two chapters of conflict, there.
  • Hattie asks Buck why he didn’t ask to interview her. Even the characters in this book have figured out that Buck is really just interviewing whoever the fuck he feels like.
  • Buck secretly gets a ticket next to Chloe on her flight back to Chicago. Rather than find this deeply unsettling, Chloe decides that this is the sign from God she was waiting for. This.

willoweyeroll

House of Night: Untamed

The evil god that Neferet unleashed on the world is super hot, and she maybe kills the vampyre president. Zoey and her friends escape to “take our school back” another day. No one is apparently concerned about the larger geopolitical implications of all this. This is how the book ends.

  • Kalona emerges from the ground and Zoey gushes about how hot he is. So Kalona is basically every other male character Zoey has looked at.
  • Neferet tells everyone that this is totally not the evil god Kalona. Everyone buys it.
  • Kalona releases his raven-mockers, who apparently fly all over Tulsa and start eating people. Nobody is questioning Neferet’s “TOTALLY NOT AN EVIL GOD” claim, apparently.
  • Nobody notices Neferet killing Shekinah right in the middle of the crowd either. Seriously, is anybody in this book paying attention to anything around them ever?
  • Zoey and her friends stay in their magic circle that was in the middle of all of these events and sneak off campus and into the sewers in the middle of town. Somehow. Look, there is a lot of this last chapter that doesn’t really hold up to scrutiny.
  • Zoey ends the book by reassuring her friends that they’ll figure all this out in the next book.

ron swanson staring

And More!

Presumably you are here on our silly make-fun-of-books blog for some lighthearted amusement and not discussion of, say, the 2016 US election, but…

And if you need a pick-me-up after that, uh, how about BAGPIPES?

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