S**t Gets Real, Book Manages to Remain Really Boring: Left Behind Chapter 25, Part 1

Left Behind Chapter 25, Part 1:

Carpathia gathers his nearest and dearest to show off his favourite party trick – addressing people (or countries) one by one and saying the same thing in just a slightly different way. Only this time there’s a twist! He uses this rare and beautiful talent to fuck with some people’s heads.

“Mr. Todd-Cothran,” he said, “you shall be introduced as the ambassador of the
Great States of Britain, which now include much of Western and Eastern Europe. I
welcome you to the team and confer upon you all the rights and privileges that go
with your new station. May you display to me and to those in your charge the
consistency and wisdom that have brought you to this position.”
“Thank you, sir,” Todd-Cothran said, and sat down as Carpathia moved on.

Todd-Cothran appeared shocked, as did several others, when Nicolae repeated the same sentiment, including precisely the same title ambassador of the Great States of
Britain—to the British financier next to him.

Carpathia NEVER MAKES A MISTAKE, so this is obviously part of his evil, Antichrist scheme.

He continues to bestow power upon people and welcome them to his team. Conferring rights and privileges and the like.

When Carpathia got to Buck he seemed to hesitate. Buck was slow on the draw, as
if he wasn’t sure he was to be included in this. Carpathia’s warm smile welcomed
him to stand. Buck was slightly off balance, trying to hold pen and notebook while
shaking hands with the dramatic Carpathia. Nicolae’s grip was firm and strong, and
he maintained it throughout his recitation. He looked directly into Buck’s eyes and
spoke with quiet authority.

“Mr. Williams,” he said, “I welcome you to the team and confer upon you all the
rights and privileges that go with your station.”

Buck and I are both super confused about what his role on this team is supposed to be considering he never agreed to be on said team. In fact, he specifically turned down a role on Carpathia’s team, so this feels a little bit like in all Jamie McGuire’s books when the female protagonist turns down a date with a Maddox bro, and they’re like, “So I’ll see you at 8!”

Buck has so many emotions!

Buck wanted to stand taller, to thank his mentor, his leader, the bestower of this
honor. But no! It wasn’t right! He didn’t work for Carpathia. He was an independent
journalist, not a supporter, not a follower, and certainly not an employee.

Buck has met Carpathia like twice in person, right? We’re playing a little fast and loose with the term ‘mentor’ here. “Casual, inspirational yet evil acquaintance” would be a more appropriate way to refer to Carpathia, in my humble opinion.

His spirit resisted the temptation to say, “Thank you, sir,” as everyone else had. He sensed and read the evil of the man and it was all he could to do keep from pointing at him and calling him the Antichrist. He could almost hear himself screaming it at  Carpathia.

That’s sort of how I feel every time I see Ted Cruz’s face, except replace ‘Antichrist’ with “LIZARD MOTHERFUCKER!”

Buck bites his tongue, and Carpathia has the most condescending line ever: “You are most welcome, my slightly overcome and tongue-tied friend.”

Because he has accepted God, Buck is now the only person who is not under Carpathia’s spell in the room. He sort of tries to make eye-contact with Hattie, but she’s too busy being thanked for giving up her “stellar career in the aviation industry,”  which is one way to put it.

When Carpathia tells Hattie, “I welcome you to the team and confer upon you all the rights and privileges that go with your new station.” I think he must mean access to his penis because I’m not really sure what else her responsibilities are going to be. Then he’s like, “Use the wisdom that got you here wisely!” Which makes no sense because wisdom didn’t bring her here. In fact, Buck, the complete opposite of wisdom, brought her to Carpathia.

Carpathia turns to Jonathan Stonagal and proceeds to piss him off and then try to play it off as a joke in an awkward and unconvincing exchange.

“I welcome you to the team,” Carpathia said, “and confer upon you all the rights
and privileges that go with your new station.”

Stonagal flinched, clearly not interested in being considered a part of the team, to be
welcomed by the very man he had maneuvered into the presidency of Romania and
now the secretary-generalship of the United Nations. His smile froze, then
disappeared as Carpathia continued, “May you display to me and to those in your
charge the consistency and wisdom that have brought you to this position.”

Rather than thanking Carpathia, Stonagal wrenched his hand away and glared at the
younger man. Carpathia continued to gaze directly at him and spoke in quieter,
warmer tones, “Mr. Stonagal, you may be seated.”

“I will not!” Stonagal said.

“Sir, I have been having a little bit of sport at your expense because I knew you
would understand.”

It’s funny because he didn’t say something special! And because he doesn’t then follow this up with something nicer to say…in fact, it’s time to kill his friend. Best punchline to a joke ever!

Carpathia tells the security guard to give him his gun, and he tells everyone in the room he’s going to teach them a lesson about leadership. Professor Antichrist is fucking unpredictable.

Stonagal sat staring at him. Carpathia smiled. “Jonathan, you know you can trust
me. I love you for all you have meant to me, and I humbly ask you to assist me in
this demonstration. I see part of my role as a teacher. You have said that yourself,
and you have been my teacher for years.”

Stonagal stood, wary and rigid.

“And now I am going to ask that we switch places.”

Stonagal swore. “What is this?” he demanded.

“It will become clear quickly, and I will not need your help anymore.”

Presumably everyone else is just kind of sitting there in stunned silence while this is happening. It becomes clear very quickly that he is about to straight-up murder his old friend, and he even tells Hattie to move away so she gets less blood on her. This is a surprisingly thoughtful moment from Carpathia.

Carpathia also casually mentions that he’s going to kill Todd-Cothran with the same bullet, and before the guy can even react to this very shocking information, he’s dead.

Because the Antichrist is so hypnotic, he’s able to easily convince everyone in the room to lie to the world about what happened.

“What we have just witnessed here,” he said kindly, as if speaking to children, “was
a horrible, tragic end to two otherwise extravagantly productive lives. These men
were two I respected and admired more than any others in the world. What
compelled Mr. Stonagal to rush the guard, disarm him, take his own life and that of
his British colleague, I do not know and may never fully understand.”

No one even protests at all! I get that they’re scared, but I feel like at least one person would have stood up to him and gotten shot. I also don’t understand why everyone in that room wouldn’t immediately report him to the authorities after pretending to go along with this story.

There’s a really strange moment when Carpathia is practicing the story with everyone where Buck prays and he feels like God tells him to stay quiet. It reminds me so much of every scene in House of Night where Zoey’s gut just tells her the right thing to do. I knew the day would come when I compared Zoey’s gut to God.

Because there are so many witnesses, Buck is able to peace out quickly, which I don’t buy, but crazier things have happened this chapter. I don’t really get why these two were offed, but I wholeheartedly admit to not understanding basically anything I read in this book.

On a more exciting note, I saw 10 Cloverfield Way this weekend, and I loved it. If you also loved it and want to discuss literally anything about it in the comments, I am game. We can fleetingly mention Left Behind if we want, but I don’t care.

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